My Pretender Refuge: Centre Annex Portugal

Our second guest is Lisa Cerasoli, our Zoe (Jarod's girlfriend in season 4). Lisa has been through some changes in her life since that time. She's a published author and she's been raising awareness to Alzheimer's disease. Find more about this wonderful woman in this exclusive interview for the Pretender fans around the world. I hope you enjoy it! It's been a pleasure getting to know more about Lisa. - by Vânia Araújo

Question: You were in only two episodes from the Pretender, but your character is still present in the minds of the fans as Jarod’s girlfriend. How was it like acting with Michael T. Weiss?
Answer: My experience on The Pretender was absolutely incredible. The show had a big impact on my life, too. Michael is a great guy, truly a great guy. He was always in a really good mood and extremely helpful and carried himself with a quiet confidence. He was so respectful during the intimate scenes we shot (which is a noteworthy quality to have for an actor). The entire cast and crew were exceptionally warm and talented people. I went to Paris with them for a Pretender conference and had the time of my life. I don’t exactly know what it was that made us so close because I did not work for the show for an entire season or anything, I just think that my character must have had a big impact on his character, and my personality just gelled with the whole cast and crew.

Q: What memories do you keep from those times?
A: Eighteen hour work days. Ha! I remember the weather being just gorgeous. It was the first time I ever shot anything in a moving vehicle, or at 3 a.m. and it was the first time I actually had to do love scenes. I remember exchanging numbers with so many people so that we’d stay in touch (that was back in the day when you wrote your email or phone number on a piece of paper!). And, I will never forget Paris for as long as I live. I have a gorgeous scrap book of the event. That was the best “vacation” ever.

Q: How did you get Zoe’s part?
A: They had offered the role to women with “bigger names” but none were available. I went straight to producers for the part, which is nice because that means less auditions. I spilled an entire cup of coffee on my army green pants on the way to the audition and had to hang them out my car window on the 405 so that they would dry by the time I got there! I think the “distraction” calmed my nerves, and I went in and lucky nailed it.

Q: At some point in your career you started writing. How did that came into your life?
A: I sometimes found myself auditioning for films I didn’t really care for because I never wanted to say “no” to a role and I wasn’t well-known enough to be picky. One, day, I said to myself, “surely I can write a sh!$^y script, too.” And, I was off...purchasing Final Draft and writing away. On the Brink of Bliss and Insanity (my first novel) was the result. It originally started out as a feature film.

Q: How did you manage during the time you were caregiving to your grandmother?
A: Not well! But thanks to writing, I was able to pull through and lay down my experiences as a caregiver, so that other people might either learn from them, even if it was “what not to do!” I also hoped that I would create a sense of unity, or a bond, between caregivers. I imagined most of them were going through what I was experiencing. My writing and then the filmmaking really helped me get through the exhausting daily grind. I included my gram in both processes, so it gave her purpose, too.

Q: How does one prepare himself to be a caregiver (if that’s possible)?
A: I think that’s a great question, and one that I’ve never been asked. You don’t “prepare” mentally for caregiving. I think you’re either born with the ability and desire to try and pull it off, or you’re not. I was NOT born with a sense of direction. I can not get anywhere without a map and I usually can’t work out “north.” No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to have an innate sense of knowing how to get to a destination that is unfamiliar to me. I think with caregiving, you’re born with the ability to do it, or not. Can you deal with hearing the same question a hundred times a day? Can you stand the sight of blood, or other bodily fluids? Can you handle someone crying? Lashing out? Escaping? Undressing in the middle of your living room? Stealing your belongings? Accusing you of stealing theirs? Eating a steak with their fingers? Asking you to please kill them because they don’t know why they’re “here” anymore? Wandering around all night long? Needing you to tie their shoes because they forgot how? Hitting you when you try to bathe them? Holding their hand through three hours of bad TV because it’s “new” to them? Can you handle being told over and over again that you’re an angel? That you’re a drill sergeant? That you look tired? Thin? Angry? Beautiful? That you’re strong? Or a hard worker? Or that you’re mean? Can you handle being analyzed all day and night by someone without a memory? Can you handle knowing that someone else’s life (someone you didn’t give birth to) is in your hands? Their life and their sense of purpose and their declining health and their memory and, ultimately, the fashion in which they will exit this planet, that’s all up to you... The boundaries around your life have been knocked down and the shield surrounding theirs has vanished, and your lives are now one. That’s what it means to be a caregiver. And if you become a “caregiver” you are accepting a position with no clear end-date. Your job ends when the person you are caring for dies, or leaves the comfort of your care. And that’s when your life goes from being over-burdened by tasks to being light and free...and lonely. Maybe I just prepared someone a little bit for the job, I don’t know. But no one can really prepare for the stress of caregiving or for life after it. You can only pray, every day, to make it to the next.

Q: That was a very hard time in your life. What has changed in your life and in the way you look at the world?
A: I talk to God all the time now. No kidding. My BFF from college pointed it out to me on one of our group vacays. She said, “You know you talk out loud to God, right?” I said, “Yeah, it’s part of my job now as a caregiver. I have to talk to Him and about Him a bunch. Keeps me from going nuts.” And then she said, “Whatever works!” I’m much more relaxed now about my own character flaws. In my pre-caregiving life, I used to go nuts when I’d screw something up, like lose my keys, or forget to pay a bill, or arrive five minutes late to drop Jazz at school. Now I just tell people it’s part of my charm. ;)

Q: What did it feel like writing As Nora Jo Fades Away, being such a personal subject and so close to your heart?
A: It felt incredibly freeing. It made me a better granddaughter, daughter, mother, caregiver, listener and writer. I recommend everyone journal about their life or a challenge they are facing and need to overcome. It saved both myself and my house from the utter, utter chaos that goes along with that job.

Q: You’ve done a documentary called 14 Days with Alzheimer’s. How did you come up with that idea?
A: I wanted to reach younger people. I wanted to create mass Alzheimer’s awareness, and I wanted that awareness to feel more like entertainment and less like education. I wanted people who have not been affected by the illness to become informed. And I wanted people who were dealing with it to finally experience something that seemed “authentic” to their experience. Film seemed like the perfect way to execute that mission.

Q: You’ve won some awards for it. Are you satisfied for the impact it had and for raising awareness about the disease?
A: The film’s taken 15 national awards, has been shown about 50-60 times all over the country and has been used in several university medical programs, like Columbia’s “Topics in Nursing” palliative care graduate class. But, I’ve barely skimmed the surface. We are talking about a world-wide issue right now. Alzheimer’s is not going away. It’s a big deal, and it’s going to touch everybody in the next decade. If we don’t find a cure, or figure out how to manage this illness, you will not be able to go anywhere without meeting someone who has a family member with Alzheimer’s.

Q: And what about Weaverville. Is the idea still on?
A: “Weaverville,” the one-hour pilot I wrote based on the memoir, As Nora Jo Fades Away is alive & kicking in Hollywood. It’s been optioned by Richeproductions, and we are working on pitching it as a series. It’s not sold yet, though, so I’m open to ideas!!

Q: Do you see yourself acting again or are you more challenged by writing and being behind the cameras?
A: I was in the documentary a little bit, and I enjoyed that. I tried not to “interfere” with the story, but assisted in telling it. I would do that again. I think, as a documentarian, there’s nothing wrong with breaking the fourth wall as long as the movie isn’t overtaken by your presence. It’s got to be about the story. I would love a tiny role in my series. If I could play my grandmother when she was young - in recurring flashbacks - that would be amazing.

Q: Finally, what are your plans for the future?
A: I am working on three new books, one of which is the follow-up to As Nora Jo Fades Away, and I would like to make more movies. I am also working for Story Merchant Books, which is an amazing new publication company. We get your story out there! I love being so heavily involved with writers and writing. It’s just incredible to be a part of making people’s dreams come true. And there are just so many damned good stories out there waiting to be introduced to the world.

If you want to know more about Lisa Cerasoli's projects or buy her books, you can visit: http://www.lisacerasoli.com/ https://www.facebook.com/AsNoraJoFadesAway14DaysWithAlzheimers?fref=ts

May 14th 2013 Please do not reprint or post on your site without consulting me first and always credit the FB page as source (below ). Thanks! You can join the discussion on facebook!

Vania's bookshelf: read